


What are Friends for?

by JediDiplomat



Series: How Not to Woo your Co-star [7]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-02
Updated: 2008-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediDiplomat/pseuds/JediDiplomat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared plays matchmaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What are Friends for?

Jensen looked up from his script. Jared was standing in front of him, grinning. He knew he should have started locking his trailer door.

“Dude, I totally got the thing that will cure all your problems.”

Jensen glanced at the bag in Jared's hand and back to Jared. “Tell me that's the largest bottle of tequila in the world.” Jensen replied, because with the way things were going, that really was the only thing that could fix his problems. The last two scripts had made him wonder what he'd done to piss off Eric, as Dean seemed to have less and less screen time. Now with the revelation that there was no way to free Dean from hell, Jensen was starting to think he should seriously start job hunting. He snorted, he went from being courted by three shows to none. Not to mention Chris and Riley weren't talking to him after the whole thing with Danneel. He could totally get Riley, but the thing was, he hadn't been the one fucking Danneel behind Riley's back. There had been no fucking, was still no fucking, and probably would be no fucking at any point in the future. He was just the convenient fall guy when Danneel had been cornered. The sting had been that they'd all believed her, the lying bitch, over him.

Of course the kicker was, he was dating her, but only after her and Riley had broken up and only because his parents decided that he was too old to be single. She was a perfect match for him, or so they thought. Apparently it didn't matter to them that she was a lying, golddigging bitch. So yeah, life really did suck.

“Man are you even listening to me?”

Jensen blinked, Jared right. Jared was talking to him and said he had the answer to all his problems. If only Jared really could. “You did say that was tequila right?”

Jared rolled his eyes and gave him an exasperated huff. “Dude, no. Something way better, I promise. Ok, so you know how you were all like, dude I have no idea how to fuck men?”

Jensen stared, “I don't remember those words ever leaving my mouth.”

“You said you didn't know what to do,” Jared said, talking over Jensen, “and I was thinking that Jeff's not exactly small, right? So you'd probably wanna practice, I mean if you were totally going to bottom that is, but Jeff doesn't seem like a guy that would bottom so it'll probably be you cuz all the pretty boys bottom it's like some gay law or something. I was talking to Sandy about it and she suggested--”

“You talked to Sandy?” Jensen asked, faintly. Wow and he thought his day couldn't get any worse. He really wouldn't be able to ever look her in the face again.

“Well, yeah,” Jared said, rolling his eyes again, “I do actually talk to her, you know. It's not always cyber sex. Jeeze, even my dick would fall off then.”

Jensen dropped his head. This was just fantastic. Like it wasn't enough that Jared knew oh no, now Sandy knew. Oh god, he was doomed.

“Don't worry, man, she thinks it's awesome. Mostly because she totally never believed that stupid lie Danneel said and thought she was a total bitch for using you like that. Plus I think she thinks it's hot. Girls are weird, because she asked me to ask you for pictures which I can only think means that she wants pictures of you and Jeff together and um, yeah. Totally don't get why that would turn her on, but hey to each their own right?

“The point is that I totally would have let you practice on me, blow jobs anyway, but Sandy totally would have my ass in a sling and that's so not kinky.”

Jensen laughed. Ok, it mighta been kinda hysterical but really this was Jared, offering to be blown. By his best friend. God damn, they didn't come any better than Jared. “Jared, man, really I'm flattered but um, yer not really my type.”

Jared frowned, “Dude, why not? I'm sexy! I could totally get some hot gay ass! You don't even have a type. You just have a Jeff.”

Jensen burst out laughing again. Threw his head back and laughed like he hadn't in weeks. “Dude! You're not even gay.”

Jared shrugged. “Well, yeah, I know, but dude blow jobs are awesome no matter who you get them from. Except like super stalker scary women and even then if you could get past the stalker thing they probably wouldn't be bad.”

Jensen shook his head, not sure how to answer that. “Thanks for the offer man, really, but I think I can manage.”

“Yeah but you don't know, right? I mean and girls are always saying the first time hurt and shit. And then there's the whole no teeth and Sandy was saying that it takes like forever to figure out just how to give a good blow job. I mean not that Jeff would dump you if you didn't give good head but like you don't wanna disappoint right? That's totally why you date the skank so you can learn how to have sex in high school so when you get a real girlfriend that you really like then you can totally be good in bed, right? So I got you this.” Jared shoved the bag at Jensen, who took it as if it might explode at any moment.

“Open it,” Jared told him, bouncing like a little kid.

Jensen did as he was told, more than a little frightened by what exactly it could be. He had a sneaky suspicion and he wasn't exactly sure what he thought of it. He pulled out the long square box and stared.

“Sandy said it'd be good, because she said it really does hurt the first time you take someone up the ass.”

Jensen stared at the long hot pink plastic dick in his hand. Oh fuck, it even had sparkles. It wasn't even the kind that had fake balls at the bottom, oh god it had some kind of control panel at the bottom. Fuck, Jared got him some sort of techno dick. He opened his mouth and then clicked it closed trying to come up with something to say. “Um, why a dildo?”

Jared rolled his eyes, “Man, I told you. So you can be ready. Look it twirls.”

Jensen watched as Jared pulled it out of the box and hit one of the buttons on the bottom. He wasn't sure what was more disturbing. That Jared had gone to a sex shop and purchased a dildo for him, or that he was now playing with it. “Jared...” he trailed off. What exactly do you say at a moment like this?

“Check this out, there are like beads that are supposed to hit the g-spot. Dude you can really feel them too.”

Jensen continued to watch Jared show off his present. “Do I even wanna know how you know that?”

Jared grinned at him. The same five year old maniacal grin he used when he'd come up with some wicked practical joke. “The saleslady totally made me try it out--”

Jensen backed away from the wiggling device in Jared's hand, “Man! That's disgusting!”

“What? Oh no! On my hand, dude. It wasn't that kind of place, seriously man. You couldn't sell them if you tried them out that way. Oh and it totally vibrates too, see?” Jared held out the dildo for Jensen and he reluctantly took it. He blinked, kid wasn't lying the damn thing was ready to vibrate right off his palm.

“Jared, man, seriously, I appreciate you being cool about this and all but um, is this a regular thing with you? Should I be expecting more vibrating sex toys for Christmas or something?” Yes, that would be just grand. Hey Mom, oh yeah, Jared got me a nipple clamps for Christmas this year. You should totally see what he got his girlfriend though.

Jared pouted and then dropped into the chair across from him at the little table. “Well, no. Just Sandy because she's a total freak.” He sighed, “Ok, yeah, I wanted you to know beyond any kind of doubt that I was cool with you being with whoever you wanted to be with. Guy, girl, sexy alien, whomever. Especially since I figured that's why you were avoiding me, you asshole.” Jared reached over and smacked Jensen upside the head. “That's not the only reason though. I'm totally happy with Sandy. She's funny, scary smart, sexy as hell and she gets me. She gets all my dorky techno freak ways and I wanted the same thing for you.” Jared shrugged. “Maybe Jeff's it. Maybe he's the one person that will get you totally and still love you for it, you know? And I think you owe yourself the chance to have it. Dude,” Jared said, laying a hand on Jensen's forearm. “You deserve to be happy. You owe it to yourself to be happy.”

Jensen stared at Jared dumbfounded. “Um, yeah. I guess yer right.”

Jared grinned, “Of course I'm right.” He slapped Jensen's arm a few times. “Not to mention that Jeff's filming like down the block for the next eight weeks. You totally don't want him thinking yer a virgin.”


End file.
